I am trying so hard to balance family life with creating art and music. It is so difficult and literally impossible when my son was born. I think I went a few years without fully investing time and energy into making things. I would scribble something here and there, but the idea of actually committing to a painting was actually a source of anxiety. Thank God my Wife is so loving and my support group is solid. I am back to feeling good about my work and where it has evolved to as well as not becoming jaded by the phony art world popularity shit show. The right people have always found my work and kept me going in terms of a "job". I wish I could find the right gallery. I am collecting my work instead of doing the old half ass assembly line I did for so many years.
The one mistake I am still making is working super late everynight which leaves me exhausted. My son is up everyday right around 7 a.m. and normally I work until 4-4:30 sometimes just missing it all together. Not healthy...... In other words I am still working out the balance, but it is getting better.
New little ditty.
I have been watching and listening to a lot of the late, great comedian Patrice O'Neal. A ton of what I've heard has been from the Opie and Anthony show which really was the best Radio show regarding comics like Colin Quinn, Greg Geraldo, Artie Lange, Jim Norton, Bill Burr, and Louie CK. I often laugh my ass off uncontrollably. Thank God for great comics.... Anyway, I happened to catch the episode that occurred after Michael Richards flipped out at the Laugh Factory and called a group of guys heckling niggers. I really feel this is a perfect reflection of how ridiculous America has become, or has always been. I would rather know peoples authentic self. I hate the race issue but I feel race relations are going to suffer due to a commander in chief who has never lived as an average American. Try to live through love my friends and if hate is controlling you get help. Oh and his apology tour! That was the most racist shit of all.
I am really trying to figure out who I am. I have reached a real level of honesty within. I have reached a point which holding grudges or hating is not worth it. My childhood was much more difficult then I have ever admitted to myself. Never abused, molested, etc. but my family is blended. My 2 sisters are half and my brother as well. I am a symbol of my parents union, which I always knew was something that has a multitude of dimensions. I have heard constant lies or half truths about my parents. At one point I feel one sibling was almost trying to recruit me. Recruit me as they were. I have had to keep certain siblings at arms length hoping I won't have to fully let them go. They have their side, which is valid but I feel those who spend time trying to disgrace something are holding onto some abstract truth. Anyway, just an example of my path, one issue and I must say I am blessed. I have realized that at my age now I have limited wisdom. I can see growth in my art, stages or states of mind. I am lucky to have art as an anchor in my pursuit to learn who I am. While semi successful this is what really matters. Art is a person within that listens and lets me vent.
What I have come to understand is you do not happen to life, life happens to you and control is a myth.
Doing art on the street is the best conversation starter and weeds out boring folks.
Sometimes It's helpful to revisit old techniques.
I view the arts as connected. As an artist I try everything and believe it's all one form of ones expression. Film, music, painting, writing, dance, etc. It all is a body of work. The established artists tend to repeat the same thing over and over again. The galleries, most anyway, encourage the growth of an artist on the most minimal level. I have seen successful artists who are already done. They took the bait and never take risks. This is one reason I may never be as "successful" as if I played the game. People need easily recognizable work to buy so risk is minimal. It is rarely about the art so if you're name is unknown you should be thrilled if you sell work. It did what art is supposed to do and made a real connection. The unfortunate thing is I am seeing people who started out anti-establishment becoming the new establishment. I will always use every medium I can to project ideas. I have lost gallery relationships due to this. Success is different for everyone I suppose. For me it was and will always be about freedom.
Some ink on paper pieces.
How is everyone? I hope everyone is warm.
I have had many requests for this image to be made into a print. I am always open to creating products that people are in to. Sometimes it can be hard to pick images for prints so I am always happy to get feedback.
"Beauty" 12x16". 22.00. Direct link here.
Some recent warmup pieces.
Images in motion