MR SofTee cleaver

I find myself still even holding back a lot of things that I would like to say like to communicate or express. I think the role of somebody that does art and puts it out, is to explore these things, even simply to do artistic things in your room, just explore these things about yourself, learn about yourself become an expert.

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You know, everyone else in my life has been an expert on me. I can't stand that shit. I can't tell you the number of paintings. The number of things that I've said that I've had to explain and take back that were misinterpreted in the first place in a way that I didn't even mean them. I don't know, I'm just. I've come to a point. You know when I was younger I believed that I was already at this point, but I truly care less.

There is no line the cross that's your line. That's their line. That's the line, they put forward. I mean I'm not fucking psycho. I'm not gonna say some shit to just say some shit.i i think it's the mister Softee in me. The original mister Softee can really fuck Shut up man and it's really held me back from a lot of things and exploration.

Alot of journeys into my own mind that would have I might have found out. Harsh realities, good things, all the above. It's important to look, to learn to be self aware, it's important to not be oblivious to who you are, I have been coming across that a lot lately, people just oblivious to who they are, how they affect people and not really even thinking about it. And I'm not talking about through expression, I'm just talking about through being a rude fucking human being, a horrible, horrible person. I don't know. I hope you join me in expressing yourself to the fullest, even if it's to say, “John, Fuck you, I hate you.” I would be more happy with that kind of honesty than the fucking B.S, I've been fed for the last 30 years.

Anyway, hope you all are doing well. I love you all, We're all ONE, blah, blah, BLAH!

Death Paintings

I suppose phrases come and go. Occasionally I write them down or include them in my art. "Death Paintings" came to me and signifies pretty much everything for me. The beauty of life and the beauty and necessity of death. It is all encompassing, everything I think about while doing any act, most specifically creative acts. Im trying my best to really be alive, not to let the simple or profound pass me by. Record. Digest. This is the life of a future dead man. What will I leave?

The first draft. "Death Paintings". 2014.  John Michael Gill

The first draft. "Death Paintings". 2014. John Michael Gill