So I’m going through real shit right now. Life is hard every day and it’s not a “light at the end of the tunnel” situation, maybe in one or two ways I will be happier but anyways due to the constant itch from this burn I’m dealing with I look every day for something to be not just grateful for but lucky to have in my life that is unique to my life alone. When people want to be mean, I’m talking unreasonably so it is yours and yours alone to pick yourself up and remind yourself you are not the person that is being kicked when already down.

Since im an obsessive person this translates into my art or my tendencies to engage artistically all the time. Almost everything I see as having any earthly value has a component of what I would call beauty or art. For instance, it’s rare at any given minute for me to sit and only do one thing. I draw, write, make beats, film, take pictures as I drive. Now kids, don’t try this at home but I literally juggle art. It’s gotta be an illness because I live in a reality that is always expressing my other reality.

What i’m getting at is I don’t trust anyone for honesty. Over the years I have tried to have people who could be brutally honest about ideas or pieces but it always backfires because people are so emotional that they become unable to truly see. I was seeing a girl once who I swore I would have thought would be someone who would help me shape and fine tune the ideas I have struggled with. Same outcome, emotional shut down.

One person who I trust is my friend Marcus, (hit me up if you see this). Anyone who knows Marcus knows he is a very sharing person. Way way back he knew I was messin with beats so he told me I should meet his friend Transducer who I believe was finishing the Shape Shifters”Know Future”? Cut to a few months later and I’m drinking a beer with a let’s say not too petite dude who was lost like me. But we became fast friends and I am proud to say Mic is one of those rare cats who trusts me and I him to be honest. Once he literally bought all my art because it meant something to him. That’s someone I am very grateful and lucky to know and have weaved in and out of this life as nothing but homies since.

I almost went the whole day without a positive thought until I randomly heard this old track from the mighty Transducer which I love. Side note, Mic also explained the true differences between a beat maker (me) and a Producer (Him and his mentors).

much love Mic.

Track: “WholeLottaDirtyLove”

American hero- Snowden and the judicial system

Edward Snowden broke news when he revealed extensive spying, not on just high profile “targets” but everyone. Snowden was vilified by the U.S. Government and remains in hiding.

Recently Snowden appeared on one of the best overall podcasts, “The Joe Rogan Experience”. The podcast is fascinating because I find Snowden to be a reliable source.

According to Snowden, or at least my interpretation of one of the many topics covered is that our Government is crippled by paranoia of its own people. The amount of surveillance going on is depressing and is doing something to our collective state of mind. Snowden talks about the impossible nature of a fair trial. If someone is charged with murder a narrative must be shown resulting in a motive, in Snowden’s case motive is, by law forbidden under the laws of espionage. If I were looking into a case about espionage it would be better to prove a motive for such acts.

the Government is suppressing the argument all together by leaving the whole “why” out of the equation. Why is the basis Snowden did what he did.

In America we have this whole narrative of America being the greatest country in the world rammed down our throats from the time we enter school. This may be true but may not be anywhere close to the truth. People who say this often have never known anything other than life here. Can it really be so great if harmony is achieved by agreeing with everyone. A different opinion is now taken as a summary of you as an entire being, whether religion or politics make or break unity.

Whatever you think of Snowden, unfortunately we need people who are willing to stand for the truth. Some journalists are still in the accountability business but most are not. The real question is if the Government needs to go to such lengths to suppress info, why do we support the system? Even more, how do we change it because or way is not working. Check out Edward Snowden on Joe Rogan.

Broken windoW Theory

The metaphors just don’t stop. There is a beauty to these photos which are directly related to crime, vandalism, and theft. The theft part is what I take solace in. Karma will get into the fight now. I don’t even have to do anything to said criminals, karma will judge everything and nobody escapes karma. God knows i can’t.

Gimme some truth


I'm sick and tired of hearing things from
Uptight short sided narrow minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth
I've had enough of reading things
By neurotic psychotic pigheaded politicians
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied
Son of tricky dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocket full of hopes
Money for dope, money for rope

No short-haired, yellow-bellied,
Son of tricky dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocket full of hopes
Money for dope, money for rope

I'm sick to death of seeing things from
Tight-lipped condescending mama's little chauvinists
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth
I've had enough of watching scenes from
Schizophrenic egocentric paranoiac primadonnas
All I want is the truth just give me some truth

No short-haired, yellow-bellied,
Son of tricky dicky's
Gonna mother hubbard soft soap me
With just a pocket full of hopes
It's money for dope, money for rope

I'm sick to death of hearing things from
Uptight short sided narrow minded hypocritics
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth
I've had enough of reading things
By neurotic psychotic pigheaded politicians
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth
All I want is the truth, just give me some truth

John Lennon

Stickers aNd more

Finally something to offer you. If you like stickin stickers that stick all slick then hit up my pals at StickerMule! I would suggest getting on the mailing list, they always send out great deals.

Custom Stickers, Die Cut Stickers, Bumper Stickers - Sticker Mule

MR SofTee cleaver

I find myself still even holding back a lot of things that I would like to say like to communicate or express. I think the role of somebody that does art and puts it out, is to explore these things, even simply to do artistic things in your room, just explore these things about yourself, learn about yourself become an expert.


You know, everyone else in my life has been an expert on me. I can't stand that shit. I can't tell you the number of paintings. The number of things that I've said that I've had to explain and take back that were misinterpreted in the first place in a way that I didn't even mean them. I don't know, I'm just. I've come to a point. You know when I was younger I believed that I was already at this point, but I truly care less.

There is no line the cross that's your line. That's their line. That's the line, they put forward. I mean I'm not fucking psycho. I'm not gonna say some shit to just say some shit.i i think it's the mister Softee in me. The original mister Softee can really fuck Shut up man and it's really held me back from a lot of things and exploration.

Alot of journeys into my own mind that would have I might have found out. Harsh realities, good things, all the above. It's important to look, to learn to be self aware, it's important to not be oblivious to who you are, I have been coming across that a lot lately, people just oblivious to who they are, how they affect people and not really even thinking about it. And I'm not talking about through expression, I'm just talking about through being a rude fucking human being, a horrible, horrible person. I don't know. I hope you join me in expressing yourself to the fullest, even if it's to say, “John, Fuck you, I hate you.” I would be more happy with that kind of honesty than the fucking B.S, I've been fed for the last 30 years.

Anyway, hope you all are doing well. I love you all, We're all ONE, blah, blah, BLAH!

Lonely city

Made a quick mpc chopped Miles track.

I have learned more from youtube than school

I needed a few key pieces of gear for my home studio and YouTube offered me a whole lot of new things to confuse the issue. There are no go to people because the spectrum is too big however two people caught my eye for reasons unrelated to my own pursuit.

If you are wanting to get into creating music and really don’t want to waste time and money do some research. A very to the point and great starting point is my man Sanjay C. I began to speak to him about various things and really enjoy him as a human. In this episode he touches on the new offering from Native Instruments, a personal favorite all around company of mine and he adds a little of my artwork to the video. Thanks man!

My other favorite YouTuber who is interesting on a few levels is “Sarah the Illstrumentalist”. I am really happy to see a young person chasing their passion.


I have spent my life doing this as well however I am not even aware of being this perky and positive. So I enjoy her because she is brave and geeks out over her love of the process. Plus she is one of the few people who give credit to their influences. Isn’t that crazy, most people pretend they just started going a direction without a compass.

Anyhow, any of my music friends in LA know her? Give her some props.

As far as cats doing it on a super informational way, dig and you will find.

I do however dig Accurate Beats and Henny tha Bizness. Accurate is just a fresh dude who I am pulling for big time, and Henny is completely on my brain wave, most noticeably his love of BeatMaker 3 and his involvement with the dopest mainstream artist of the day.


Who Built The Pyramids

Seattle is growing, rapidly.

Pursuing some form of a living from creativity is something I take pride in, my work ethic. I went through a period of time where I became too distracted by the politics of showing in galleries and deadlines and fake relationships so my drive was diminished. Before that period I was always pushing. Then I became a Father, I had absolutely no problem putting my aspirations to the side and I don’t regret one day of that part of it. I have also dealt with certain bad habits which also didn’t help.

Reflecting Buildings. Downtown Seattle. John Michael Gill

Reflecting Buildings. Downtown Seattle. John Michael Gill

Roughly two years ago I made the proper steps to begin the lifelong process of deleting certain behaviors that were just too much to deal with from my life. I had an awakening as far as my perspective on almost all things, a true shift in vision. Since that time I have enjoyed my days a little more, lowered my bouts of depression greatly which coupled hand in hand with crippling panic attacks is no small leap. I never thought I would feel as normal as I do by fully realizing how skewed and fucked up I was and am. I embrace this and therefore take away a great deal of it’s power.


This became long winded…

What I was going to say is when you are always pursuing a life of expression, the “real world” is not always your best friend. For consistent income I do whatever it takes to balance obligations and freedom which brings me to my point……..

Right now I do deliveries all over Seattle. My family moved here roughly 6 years ago and I spent most of that time learning to be a Father. I learned about the sad side of Marriage and I became a statistic. My Wife is no longer walking a path I can be on and while I’m terribly sad I also am excited to get back to . As of today, recently I should say I am so thrilled to feel the force of drive flowing through me. With that creative drive comes a lot of reflection on all things in my existence and one thing I would like to say is I really love my life in a different State. Washington has helped me in ways I never could conceive of in the past. I am literally in love with the city and my iPhone is filled with photographic proof.


I have to commend the city planners and designers of the NEW SEATTLE. The Architecture is spectacular and the city is finding a depth to it that didn’t exist just a few months/years ago. If all of America was growing like Seattle, both financially and visually, America would be doing just fine. The gentrification issue is one I have been documenting. It is horrible what I see everyday as people get tossed to the side. Wait until I blog those images.

Basically, I’m so grateful to live and have my studio in a city I never put on my list of places I must live. Who knew? Take a moment to think of where you are. Is it where you want to be? I hope so.


On a sidenote, I’m starting a new site that will be about my process in art. From painting to making music. I will be incorporating my youtube channel and other social media to create a better picture of why I do dumb little drawings and make horrible music. As well as becoming another way to get some things out using new media. I have had people express feelings to me that I, in some way? inspired them, which is probably the kindest compliment you can give or be given. I will also be reviewing the stuff I love and how these things make life so much more productive, equipment I use, techniques, etc. I have been doing this a long time and am still a total novice. Hopefully this small window will connect us all a little better and I can hopefully hear from you. So check out:

My Youtube channel - If you feel so inclined subscribe. I will have stuff to give away free.(bribery) Uploads are being made literally now and I have 8 subscribers, sad.

My Instagram - 5,535 followers. much better


and this site will always be here, just for you.


THE Beastie Boys Book, Feminism, and A Must Read. All in All A Good Trip to The Bookstore


So lately on YouTube I have been seeing these segments of Mike D and Adrock of The Beastie Boys doing this stage show talking about the history of the band. At first I thought it was all about the passing of the great Adam Yauch A.K.A. MCA. Turns out it goes deeper. This is the history of one of my favorite bands, told by the band. The book is just what you would expect, not ordinary but extraordinary. Highly stylized and funny the book is much like the band. On the surface everything is a joke, dig deeper and there is the real soul of a defining group in early hip hop. The Beastie Boys share a special place in my musical lexicon because while they were growing, so was I. The Beastie Boys Book is a must for any fan or just anyone who digs culture. The group had so much range and was always part of, yet individual from whatever was going on.


    • The Art of Feminism Includes some of my favorite artists. Jenny Holzer and The Guerilla Girls. Both didnt truly get their due in the Street Art movements history. It's absolutely bonkers that a lot of the books topics are still going on or were not long ago at all.

My favorite current street, graffiti, whatever. One of my favorite artists SWOON.


Beyonce quote. Agreed.


The next book I really really really recommend is Patti Smiths FANTASTIC book “Just Kids” about her early life with fellow Artist Robert Mapplethorpe. This book is filled with the feelings that I have such a hard time conveying about the magic of youth, love, and the need to create. Patti Smith is tender and rough and, well fuckin Patti Smith, I need not say anything other than read this.


So there we go, now you have some books to brag about and show off your well read worldly nature.

Pick them up at Barnes and Nobles, your local Mom and Pop, Amazon, You know the deal…

StudIo, at last

I finally have a studio again. When my son was born I put a lot on hold, as we all do with a child. I have been painting in odd places in odd positions so I realize a “space” to create is essential. Somewhere I can go and turn everything off and connect to what I’m working on. Ideas just stay locked in a better place in my mind where they will not be lost.

I’m also lucky to be close to the city with a crazy view of the water and skyline.

feel free to contact me @ if you would like to view anything I am currently working on.


It’s been awhile

I’m really interested in staying active on my site. A great momentum is building in me creatively. I have been doing visual art but right now my focus is on my music.

Over the hardest year of my life I have been finding photos of lonesome streets just so wonderful. I am addicted to creating and switching up my outlets and outlooks.

Music has taken the forefront to other artistic outlets and I will have this record completed in a very short time since I have in fact been working in parts for the better part of almost 2 years. I’m excited for people to hear because I am proud of this.

Like I said, photography has helped me capture feelings that I have been wrestling with. 2017-2018 have been a series of total failures and personal successes. The events have all been  documented and will surface when the time is right. 

 Lots of traveling, lots of surrendering, and lots of Washington and Los Angeles. A lot of identity checks of the people in and around my life. I had to truly ask for help as a way to survive. Survive I have. And always will. 

There are some people in my life, my Mom and Dad, as well as some people that I had no idea how generous they have been emotionally. 

I love more of you than you know.


 I also published my first book. Selected drawings, graf, photos, and paintings.

Hard to Pull off

I wasn't aloud art supplies for 15 out of 30 days. This was the only real piece I got done.

john michael gill fears.jpg

The Death of a Soulful Musician

I get that people have all kinds of reasons for celebrity death mourning, mostly nostalgia? The reminder that that dark entity is approaching us all? Im not really sure, but for me it has to do 100% with musicians. I was in a really bad place in late April, This record kept me sane. Chris Cornell Unplugged in Sweden spoke to every part of me that Cornells many bands Soundgarden, Audioslave,did on occasion. Somehow the stripped down acoustic stuff along with his truly perfect voice has now allowed me to explore a lifetime of music. Before I left the vacation spot, the cold news came out. A hanging, possibly drug related? God man, I wish someone told me, well my Dad did tell me "it never ends well". 

Chris Cornell, I do not idolize people but you making all this amazing music commands more respect then some shit idol.... 

"Come Pull The sheets over my eyes, So I can Sleep tonight, Despite what I've seen today, I found you guilty of the Crime of sleeping at a time when you should have been wide awake"